Areeanna Flores
Reflections from an incarcerated mother
The night before:
A toddler comforts their mother
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
a soft voice the night before Freedom is annexed by the state
My sobbing soul cannot be calmed
What will I do without my child ?
How will I live, if she is my life?
How will I breathe without my child’s embrace?
She continues to comfort my wailing and ailing pained heart,
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
Says a soft voice the night before Freedom is taken by the state
But who?! Who will comfort her after tomorrow
when my freedom is annexed by the state?
CA State, will you step in?
CDCR will you rehabilitate this trauma my child and I will bear?
Will your courts of Justice bring my innocent child justice after tomorrow?
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
Says a soft voice the night before Freedom is taken by the state.
The night is gruesome, and unbearable, but I am forced to say goodbye my child,
Though I am not ready, I will see you soon my love.
County Jail:
Soon does not come soon enough
And the county jail is not a place for you to visit, my child
Though doing time with you would be better than being separated from you
I will wait
I will wait
I will wait, until we embrace again
On the Road to Prison:
transfer of bodies has come,
the state awaits,
And so do my shackles…hands and feet and soul
Attached to another body
You say you need to be relived on the state bus?
Don’t forget to bring your shackled partner with you!
I hear that resilient voice of my child,
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
the night before Freedom is taken by the state.
Reception:
We arrive to processing,
Strip naked, they also want to see your broken soul, every crevasse,
Bend over and cough,
Repeat,
You have earned your processing oranges
A-Yard:
Don’t get comfy in orange, your blues over the wall await
I walk lifeless through the yard
My mind solely on my child despite continuously
experiencing trauma every second
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
I can still hear you!
The soft voice the night before Freedom is taken by the state.
Main Yard:
A few months pass
I am now wearing my blues, both inside my heart,
And outwardly in state clothing
I can’t get out of bed, I wake up, and it is not a nightmare, it is a reality
my child is nowhere to be seen but in my memory,
of which mind tries to say, “I forgot what you look like my child.”
Reality check:
“You ain’t going anywhere crying, so do your time!!”
My Wise lifer,
though I still need my child, you provide me with
hope of having a day to go home,
though you, yourself, may never be free,
You have provided me with the beginning of freedom,
As freedom cannot be taken from my mind!
I now say, “Ya, ya, ya mama” strong and loud in my spirit,
months after my Freedom is annexed by the state.
Visiting:
I see you my baby! I feel you my child! I forgot how beautiful you were!
I don’t care about the multitude of vending machine items
I simply want to hug you
“Ya, ya, ya mama” together we will make it through this!
You cannot come to the other side with me
Until we meet again my love
“Ya, ya, ya mama” I say to my crying child as we part again
with ailing in my spirit, months after my Freedom is taken by the state.
Until we meet again my love,
Forgive me for the pain this causes,
Forgive me my child,
Will you forgive me?
Forgive me for your experience,
Seeing green suits control blue ones, and free world ones,
Forgive me my child,
Together we will heal,
“Ya, ya, ya mama” together we will make it through this!
For your own words, the night before I left bring me hope!
Days before release:
How can I leave you my friend, without your introduction
to my belief in a Higher Love,
What would’ve been of me?
She tells me, “there, there, my friend and sister,
I will be okay, if need be, I will stay here forever
for the cause of the Most High, as these plans and
thoughts are above my plans and thoughts”
Forever stands, forever I will have you in my heart
until you come home, until you can
tell your story to the masses
Night before Release:
Lockdown all day!
OD’s in the cells, fights on the yard!
Lockdown all day, the day before I see my child!
Will they let me go?
Will I see you tomorrow?
The night is gruesome and unbearable, but soon has come,
and I will see you soon!
“Ya, ya, ya mama” strong and loud in my spirit,
years after my Freedom is annexed by the state.
Reception, Going Home:
Everything stays behind
Clothes, food, clear tv, radio, hygiene, stinger,
and friends, humaxs, . . . incredible souls that have
changed and influenced my life forever! In their guidance,
freedom was found before the physical
“Why do you cry” asks the CO,
“I cry because I made it, I cry because today
I see my loved ones outside of these walls”
There you are at the gate!!!!! My child! My mother!
My parter!! There you all are!!!
I hear another CO’s voice, “see you later!”
But no!
Not me,
not me,
not ever!
I embrace my child and loved ones!
“Ya, ya, ya mama” together we made it through this!
For your own words the night before I left brought me
hope, healing, and back home again. I love you my strong,
resilient and brave child
you are but one of many other children who felt the wiles
of the injustice system, but today, and always, I love you.
Now, together, let us reach new levels of healing,
and love, in the Most Highest manner. Together again.
Future, here we come!
Reflections from an incarcerated mother
The night before:
A toddler comforts their mother
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
a soft voice the night before Freedom is annexed by the state
My sobbing soul cannot be calmed
What will I do without my child ?
How will I live, if she is my life?
How will I breathe without my child’s embrace?
She continues to comfort my wailing and ailing pained heart,
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
Says a soft voice the night before Freedom is taken by the state
But who?! Who will comfort her after tomorrow
when my freedom is annexed by the state?
CA State, will you step in?
CDCR will you rehabilitate this trauma my child and I will bear?
Will your courts of Justice bring my innocent child justice after tomorrow?
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
Says a soft voice the night before Freedom is taken by the state.
The night is gruesome, and unbearable, but I am forced to say goodbye my child,
Though I am not ready, I will see you soon my love.
County Jail:
Soon does not come soon enough
And the county jail is not a place for you to visit, my child
Though doing time with you would be better than being separated from you
I will wait
I will wait
I will wait, until we embrace again
On the Road to Prison:
transfer of bodies has come,
the state awaits,
And so do my shackles…hands and feet and soul
Attached to another body
You say you need to be relived on the state bus?
Don’t forget to bring your shackled partner with you!
I hear that resilient voice of my child,
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
the night before Freedom is taken by the state.
Reception:
We arrive to processing,
Strip naked, they also want to see your broken soul, every crevasse,
Bend over and cough,
Repeat,
You have earned your processing oranges
A-Yard:
Don’t get comfy in orange, your blues over the wall await
I walk lifeless through the yard
My mind solely on my child despite continuously
experiencing trauma every second
“Ya, ya, ya mama”
I can still hear you!
The soft voice the night before Freedom is taken by the state.
Main Yard:
A few months pass
I am now wearing my blues, both inside my heart,
And outwardly in state clothing
I can’t get out of bed, I wake up, and it is not a nightmare, it is a reality
my child is nowhere to be seen but in my memory,
of which mind tries to say, “I forgot what you look like my child.”
Reality check:
“You ain’t going anywhere crying, so do your time!!”
My Wise lifer,
though I still need my child, you provide me with
hope of having a day to go home,
though you, yourself, may never be free,
You have provided me with the beginning of freedom,
As freedom cannot be taken from my mind!
I now say, “Ya, ya, ya mama” strong and loud in my spirit,
months after my Freedom is annexed by the state.
Visiting:
I see you my baby! I feel you my child! I forgot how beautiful you were!
I don’t care about the multitude of vending machine items
I simply want to hug you
“Ya, ya, ya mama” together we will make it through this!
You cannot come to the other side with me
Until we meet again my love
“Ya, ya, ya mama” I say to my crying child as we part again
with ailing in my spirit, months after my Freedom is taken by the state.
Until we meet again my love,
Forgive me for the pain this causes,
Forgive me my child,
Will you forgive me?
Forgive me for your experience,
Seeing green suits control blue ones, and free world ones,
Forgive me my child,
Together we will heal,
“Ya, ya, ya mama” together we will make it through this!
For your own words, the night before I left bring me hope!
Days before release:
How can I leave you my friend, without your introduction
to my belief in a Higher Love,
What would’ve been of me?
She tells me, “there, there, my friend and sister,
I will be okay, if need be, I will stay here forever
for the cause of the Most High, as these plans and
thoughts are above my plans and thoughts”
Forever stands, forever I will have you in my heart
until you come home, until you can
tell your story to the masses
Night before Release:
Lockdown all day!
OD’s in the cells, fights on the yard!
Lockdown all day, the day before I see my child!
Will they let me go?
Will I see you tomorrow?
The night is gruesome and unbearable, but soon has come,
and I will see you soon!
“Ya, ya, ya mama” strong and loud in my spirit,
years after my Freedom is annexed by the state.
Reception, Going Home:
Everything stays behind
Clothes, food, clear tv, radio, hygiene, stinger,
and friends, humaxs, . . . incredible souls that have
changed and influenced my life forever! In their guidance,
freedom was found before the physical
“Why do you cry” asks the CO,
“I cry because I made it, I cry because today
I see my loved ones outside of these walls”
There you are at the gate!!!!! My child! My mother!
My parter!! There you all are!!!
I hear another CO’s voice, “see you later!”
But no!
Not me,
not me,
not ever!
I embrace my child and loved ones!
“Ya, ya, ya mama” together we made it through this!
For your own words the night before I left brought me
hope, healing, and back home again. I love you my strong,
resilient and brave child
you are but one of many other children who felt the wiles
of the injustice system, but today, and always, I love you.
Now, together, let us reach new levels of healing,
and love, in the Most Highest manner. Together again.
Future, here we come!
