after my first pap smear
A poem by Vivian Trutzl
gyno / roman
speculum / spear
drips down my thighs
abdomen pressure tells me
i don’t know where my organs actually
nestle in my cavities
to doctor to divinity
i am i am
body with self self with body
but i saw it:
if mount of olives
is a but a mound,
familiar,
then golgotha is a minor goddess
& oh, does she fight
cavalry / calvary
warrior / sacrifice
my thighs leak grace --
tell me who deserves it
all i have to give
goes freely
sweetly
human
wound / wound
water / water
look at the way
jesus bled — if he was
a perfect lamb
then he was
a perfect femme
in the blessed company
of us
all
speculum / spear
drips down my thighs
abdomen pressure tells me
i don’t know where my organs actually
nestle in my cavities
to doctor to divinity
i am i am
body with self self with body
but i saw it:
if mount of olives
is a but a mound,
familiar,
then golgotha is a minor goddess
& oh, does she fight
cavalry / calvary
warrior / sacrifice
my thighs leak grace --
tell me who deserves it
all i have to give
goes freely
sweetly
human
wound / wound
water / water
look at the way
jesus bled — if he was
a perfect lamb
then he was
a perfect femme
in the blessed company
of us
all
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Vivian Trutzl is an undergraduate student at the University of Michigan. She is a slam poet and competed with the Ann Arbor team at the 2016 National Poetry Slam. In 2017, she performed with the UM Slam Poetry team at College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational, and coached UM's team in 2018. Her work has been published in Passages North.
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